Gary Ghislain

My initial dream was so 80s. I wanted to be the class clown for a while, dress weird - mainly in black -, paint my eyes and nails, and then, go out there into the world and meet a monster that would have loved me and that I would have loved back.  We would have exchanged blood, snakes, scratches and bites. She would have called me her favorite abomination. I would have called her my worst nightmare and I would have totally French kissed her under a full moon. We would have got married in a crypt somewhere in Paris on an Halloween Night surrounded by horrendous goons - and then, we would have walked the streets to find an abandoned Manor where we would have lived together until flesh rotted off our bones. Oh. And also, we would have procreated. We would have bred a flock of abnormalities that we would have named and loved no matter how many legs they had. I wanted at least two girls and a Cyclops. We would have been this super sexy dark couple totally into ...

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  “You’re going to have to open up your mind before I tell you a few things about Jackie,” he says, squeezing on the bench opposite me, his stomach and Hawaiian shirt rubbing against the table. I open my bottle with my back teeth. He smiles at the trick, so I snatch his and open it in the same fashion. “I’m pretty open-minded,” I say, giving him his ginger ale. “Sure,” he nods, like he gets me, an d says, “Your step mum is Jack the Ripper.” I’m quite silent for a while. Even the flies got so surprised, they stopped buzzing. “Maybe I’m not that open-minded,” I admit. “There’s more.” “Like what? She’s also the Loch Ness monster and the Hound of the Baskerville?” “She comes from Outer space.” Someone is supposed to laugh here somewhere. But he doesn’t. He just stares at me blankly like it was all obvious in his head, like the price of milk. Alien slugs, Jack the Ripper Mystery solved, and my father being eaten alive, free on amazon until Wednesday!