Top 10 foods and drinks for writers
10. Coffee. Forget water. Water is for civilians. Drink it till caffeine pops your eyes out of their sockets. Try not to break your laptop while hammering the keyboard.
9. Extra hot chili sauce. Pour generously on any food. Transform every meal into a slightly painful yet memorable experience. Keeps you inspired. Particularly dandy when used on stale Cheez Doodles.
8. Croissants, donuts, muffins or any carbomegatrons. To keep writing, you need proper fuel. Sugar’s your friend. Don’t forget to soak in coffee to keep the caffeine level high.
7. Crisps. Any flavor goes. The less they look like they once were potatoes the better. Chew noisily. The noise of eating crisps keeps a writer stimulated way past midnight.
6. Rum, as in “Mojito with a lot of rum”. A particularly bad review lingers on Google or the blogosphere? Your dream editor just turned down your latest manuscript? Writer's block issues? No problem. Here’s the perfect anesthetic. A pint of heavily loaded Mojito. Plus, you get a lot of hanger out while muddling the mint leaves with the pestle. And shaking the cocktail counts as working out. If you don’t have rum, vodka or tequila will do the trick.
5. Cold one day old pizza with extra mayonnaise toping. Also known as ‘Breakfast of Champion’ in this house.
4. Frankfurters. Here is my recipe: Write three pages. Walk away from your laptop. Open the fridge. Take a cold frankfurter. Eat it while absentmindedly gazing into the fridge. Return to the laptop. Write three more pages.
3. Popsicles. They’re the best. Don’t know how anyone can write without them. And you can nervously chew on the stick hours after you finished one.
2. Red wine. The perfect treat after a day of successful writing. Helps you clear out the cholesterol while counterbalancing the effect of caffeine. Avoid phoning or texting ex-girlfriends and unsuccessful flirts after finishing the first bottle. Goes well with extra spicy stale Cheez Doodles.
1. Chocolate. I got this trick from a romance creative writing class. Eating chocolate for a writer is like researching. Chocolate gives you a sensation close to being in love. Eat chocolate and you’ll experience that evasive feeling without the upcoming heartache and arguments about who should do the dishes and take the trash out.